Lesson 2: revising and editing
Lesson 2: Revising and EditingExamination Number: 050413Whichever methods you use in submitting your exam answers to the school, you must use the number above.Questions 1-4: Read the following passages and then choose the best answer for each question.(1) While most people think of space as the next frontier, there is another frontier close to home. (2) It is the underground frontier and the pioneers probing it are amateur cave explorers, or cavers. (3) Many of their discoveries come by accident, when they are looking for one thing and find another. Just such an accident occurred recently when cavers exploring a cavern in Croatia found the world’s deepest hole. (4) Its depth is 1,693 feet, which is 217 feet deeper than the previous record holder in Austria.(5) ………………, the Empire State Building is 1,454 feet high. (6) In fact, climbing the Empire State Building would probably be just as difficult as descending into this Croatian hole. (7) The Croatian discovery is not the deepest cave on Earth, however. (8) According to cavers, a “hole” is a straight vertical drop that is too steep to walk down; …………….. a “cave” descends more gradually without such a steep drop.1. Which sentence is off the point of the paragraph?A. Sentence 1B. Sentence 2C. Sentence 4D. Sentence 62. Which transitional word or phrase inserted into Sentence 5 would aid coherence?A. To put that measurement in perspectiveB. RegardlessC. For your informationD. An important fact to keep in mind3. Which sentence would provide the best support for Sentence 7?A. It takes a special type of person, careful training and superb equipment to go down safely into an extremely deep hole.B. Nobody earns a living at caving; all cavers support themselves with separate fulltime jobs.C. The deepest cave is the 5,130-foot-deep Krubera Cave in the Asian country of Georgia.D. Croatia is in Southern Central Europe, and its capital is Zagreb.4. Which transitional word or phrase inserted into Sentence 8 would aid coherence?A. AndB. WhereasC. WhereforeD. More to the point.Questions 5-8: Read the following passage, and then choose the best answer for each question.(1) Mosquitoes have always been an annoyance to humans. (2) However, with the presence in the United States of West Nile virus and fierce Asia tiger mosquitoes, any way of avoiding these pests has become increasingly important. (3) ………………, many homeowners may be interested to know about a recently patented birdbath that kills mosquito’s eggs. (4) A birdbath is essentially pool of standing water. (5) Mosquitoes have in common with most insects the ability to lay many eggs at one time. (6) Operating on batteries, solar power or electricity, the birdbath is equipped with a small computer chip. (7) ………………, this chip instructs a pump to flush out the birdbath’s water. (8) Then, the water is forced through a fine-mesh filter. (9) Any mosquito eggs in the water are crushed as they go through the filter.5. Which sentence is off the point of the paragraph?A. Sentence 2B. Sentence 4C. Sentence 5D. Sentence 86. Which transitional word or phrase inserted into Sentence 3 would aid coherence?A. ThereforeB. AlsoC. ButD. Meanwhile7. Which transitional word or phrase inserted into Sentence 7 would aid coherence?A. At the bottomB. Every few daysC. NeverthelessD. On the other hand8. Which sentence would provide the best support for Sentence 4?A. Standing water is precisely where mosquitoes prefer to lay their eggs.B. This is why birds find birdbaths to be nonthreatening and excellent sources of water.C. Although mosquitoes prefer mud puddles or water in ditches, they will use birdbaths if no other water is available.D. Birdbaths, however, come in all shapes, sizes and colors.Questions 9-10: Choose the least clichéd, most appropriate figure of speech to fill in the blank.9. Many people thought women would die like …………. if they were too physically activeA. A. A butterfly in a whirlwindB. B. Dogs in a fightC. C. Flies on flypaperD. D. An old tree10. 10. During World War II, a women’s baseball league drew spectators like …………. when a shortage of male players depleted men’s teams.A. A. Months to a flameB. B. A snake in the grassC. C. Bears to honeyD. D. Bees to a field of poppies.Question 11-23: Read each sentence or phrase. If its construction and word usage is correct, choose “No change.” If there’s an error, choose the revision that best is represents the traits of good writing.11. Living with gusto. That’s what many people yearn for.A. To live with gusto are what many citizens yearn for.B. To live with gusto. That’s what many of us yearn to do.C. Living with gusto is what many American yearn to do.D. No change12. I was sitting on a long bridge, while the sun sinks low in the sky.A. I was sitting on a long bridge over Campbell’s Creek while the sun sinks low in the western sky, almost gone from view.B. As I was sitting on the rotten long bridge over Campbell’s Creek, the sun sank low in the sky.C. The sun sank low in sky, when I sit on the rotten long bridge over the creek.D. No change13. The region has dry, sandy soil. Always blown about by the ever-present wind.A. A. Dry, sandy soil. It is blown into strange formations by the ever-present wind.B. B. The ever-present wind blows the region’s dry, sandy soil into strange formations.C. C. The region has dry, sandy soil always being blown into strange formation by the ever-[resent wind.D. D. No change14. 14. The climbers had choices. To go over a cliff or to turn back, they decided to try it.A. A. The climbers had two choices: to go over a four-hundred-foot cliff or to turn back. They decided to make the attempt.B. B. The climbers had two choices. To go over a four-hundred-foot cliff or to turn back. They decided to try it.C. C. The climbers had two choices. To go over a four-hundred-foot cliff or to turn back. They decided to try it.D. D. No change.15. 15. E. B White died in 1985 even though his work continued to inspire readers.A. A. Although E. B. White died in 1985, his work continued to inspire readers.B. B. E. B. White died in 1985 and his work continued to inspire readers.C. C. Until E. B. White died in 1985, his work continued to inspire readers.D. D. No change16. 16. Juggling a portfolio, art box, illustration boards and drawing pads; I ask Jane if I looked ridiculous.A. A. As I juggle a portfolio, art box, illustration boards and drawing pads, I ask Jane if I looked ridiculous.B. B. Because I can hardly balance a portfolio, art box, illustration board and drawing pads, I have looked ridiculous to Jane.C. C. Carrying a portfolio, art box, illustration board and drawing pads, Jane tole me I looked ridiculous.D. D. No change17. 17. Organized crime has been able to attract graduates just as big business has; with good pay and the best equipment money can buy.A. A. Organized crime has been able to attract graduates just as big business has: with good pay and the best equipment money can buy.B. B. Just like big business, organized crime has been able to attract graduates with good pay and the best equipment money can buy.C. C. Organized crime had been able to attract graduates just as big business has with good pay and the best equipment money can buy.D. D. No change18. 18. Joan Didion investigated politics. Also extremely intriguing to the great writer has been the exploration of human emotions.A. A. Both politics and the exploration of human emotions have intrigued the great writer Joan Didion.B. B. Joan Didion has investigated politics, while exploring human emotions has also extremely intrigued this great writer.C. C.The great writer Joan Didion investigated politics. Exploring human emotions has also intrigued the writer to a great extent.D. D. No change19. 19. Weather reports often give both the air temperature and the wind chill.A. A. In weather reports both the air temperature and the wind chill are often gave.B. B. In weather reports they often give both the air temperature and also the wind chill.C. C. Both the air temperature and the wind chill were often in weather reports.D. No D. No change20. 20. Weaving around the barrels with speed and precision, the audience applauded very loudly.A. A. As the races wove around the barrels with speed and precision, the audience erupted with loud applause.B. B. Weaving around the barrels, the racers made the audience burst into loud applause because of their speed and precision.C. C. The racers’ speed and precision in weaving around the barrels caused the audience to applaud most loudly.D. D. No change.21. The reason the experiment failed is because the lab equipment was very cruddy.A. A. The reason the experiment failed is because of the fact that the lab equipment was quit dirty.B. B. The experiment failed because the lab equipment was dirty.C. C. The experiment failed due to the fact of dirty lab equipment.D. D. No change22. 22. Every states in the United States names an official bird, flower and treeA. A. Every state in the United States names an official bird, grows an official flower and is known for an official tree.B. B. Every state in the United States each names an official bird, identifies an official flower and has official tree.C. C. The states in the United States each names an official bird, identifies an official flower, and picks an official tree.D. D. No change23 23. The Eastern hemlock is not only the state tree of Pennsylvania but also it is a species threatened with extinction.A. A. The Eastern hemlock is not the state tree of Pennsylvania and also is a species threatened with extinction.B. B. The Eastern hemlock is both the state tree of Pennsylvania and also a species threatened with extinction.C. C. The Eastern hemlock is not only the state tree of Pennsylvania but also a species threatened with extinctionD. D. No change.24. 24. Choose the sentence that’s effectively written.A. A. Many Americans do not eat well but consume too much junk almost every day.B. B. Many Americans regularly eat snacks loaded with fat, calories and salt.C. C. Americans ingest too many snacks foods with fat, calories and salt every day or so.D. D. Many Americans pig out on junk food most every day even though it’s full of fat, calories and salt.25. 25. Choose the sentence that’s most effective written.A. A. In a recent study of the American diet, the National Institutes of Health found that almost half of home-cooked meals contained no vegetables.B. B. According to a recent 2008 study of the foods consumed by residents of the United States, most of the meals prepared in the kitchen of America are vegetable deficient.C. According to the National Institutes of Health in their recent study of the Americandiet, almost half of the home-cooked meals served in this country contain no vegetables.D. D. The National Institutes of Health recently said that a study showed many American meals are missing the types of food that are good for them.26. 26. Choose the sentence that’s most effective written.A. A. Harry Houdini, whose real name at birth was Ehrich Weiss, made the claim that he had been born in Appleton, Wisconsin, but in actual fact he was born into the world in Budapest, Hungary.B. B. Even though whose real name at birth was Ehrich Weiss claim that he had been born in Appleton, WI, but he was born in Budapest, Hungary.C. C. Harry Houdini, whose real name was Ehrich Weiss, claim that he had been born in Appleton, Wisconsin, but in fact was born in Budapest, HungaryD. D. Although Harry Houdini claimed he was born in Appleton, Wisconsin, he was born in Budapest, Hungary as Erich Weiss.Questions 27-30: Select the correct classification for each sentence27. 27. The screen door cracked and banged when Abby ran into the house.A. A. Complex, declarativeB. B. Simple, declarativeC. C. Compound, imperativeD. D. Complex, imperative28. 28.Should he admit his mistake, or should he keep quiet and hope to avoid discovery.A. A. Simple, InterrogativeB. B. Compound –complex, interrogativeC. C. Complex, interrogativeD. D. Compound, interrogative29. 29. People go on safari to watch wild animals in their natural habitat.A. A. Simple, declarativeB. B. Compound, declarativeC. C. Complex, declarativeD. D. Compound,-complex, declarative30. 30. Dreams are necessary, but they can be frustrating unless you have the means to attain them.A. A. Simple-compound, declarativeB. B. Compound, declarativeC. C. Compound-complex, declarativeD. D. Complex, declarative